In my previous blogs, I have talked a lot about being the skinny black girl that people constantly reminded that men didn’t want. I was often made fun of for being slim and I actually ate a lot. People felt that I didn’t have the right to exercise at the gym because I was slim. But you can go check that blog out (go ahead and do it).
Today, I’m going to talk about being overweight or “fat” as society likes to refer to it. Why is it the thing to make fun of people for their weight? What exactly do we get out of making fun of people for their weight? Do we know their stories? Do we see how it impacts their mental health? Do we even know how they got to be that size? Do we know if they have tried to get help but got frustrated? Have you ever been frustrated? It takes the fight out of you sometimes, doesn’t it?
Well, I’m writing this blog because I am constantly being called fat (by family, of course) but why does this have to even be said? I have a scale and I have a mirror. What makes it worse is that your family knows a little more than strangers do so they should have a little bit more sensitivity about what you’re going through. But they don’t.
In summary, I used to be skinny. At 5’11, I was 152 lbs before I got pregnant, 172 while pregnant, and 148 lbs after pregnancy. After a stent in the psych ward, they put me on Seroquel to help me sleep. One of the main side effects of that medication is weight gain. I gained a bunch of weight (and boobs). But you can see all that in the other blog I told you guys about here.
On 4/13/2018, I was diagnosed with diabetes (DM) and you can find that blog here. Seroquel caused it but only after me being on it for about 8 years. I worked out and ate right (got to 180 lbs) but this past year the Seroquel was done with me (I hit 237 lbs). So, I had to get off the Seroquel and get on Klonopin. As soon as I did that, the weight started coming off. I am down 26 lbs (I am 211 lbs) as I type this.
Anyhow, I have been to three funerals in the past 2 or three months. I have an aunt that feels that her greetings to me should always be about my weight. Some years ago, I wrote a blog about coming home from a 6 mile run and being called fat when I came in the house by my father and then again by my cousin, mom, and aunt.
Anyhow, back to the funerals. At two of the three funerals, my aunt said things about my weight. The first time she greeted me with “Oh, so you’re not model thin anymore.” No “Hello, isn’t this a sad occasion” or anything? She just let me know that I was fat. Thanks. Today, we were at another funeral and her greeting to me was “Hi Fatty.” Now, when I had found out that she was in town and going with my mom to the funeral, I kind of had it in the back of my mind that she was going to say something EVEN THOUGH I literally dropped 26 lbs. I just shrugged it off and went and sat down. I told my oldest sister and she was infuriated. Not because she said it but she knew that this wasn’t the first time she had said it. Changing medications is hard. Changing medications had me crying for no reason and all kinds of stuff. I was in a bad place so to add that onto some of the other things I was facing just wasn’t a good thing.
My sister told my mom “You need to check your sister.” My oldest sister is one of the most soft spoken people until you piss her off. And, clearly, my new meds were working or I just refused to deal with it. We were at a funeral for goodness sake! Two funerals, you had to tell me I was fat at. So my mother must have said something to my aunt and my aunt called me over. For some reason, she didn’t know that calling me fat offended me. Had no clue at all.
Do you know of anyone that likes to be called fat or told that they aren’t what they used to be? Do you? I don’t. But that’s just me. And I can be a very hateful person when pushed but it wasn’t worth it. It just wasn’t. But it really made me think about a lot of things.
Being Rude for What?
What do you get out of telling someone something that they already know or see on a daily basis? Everyone has a struggle. Yes, my struggle was being made fun of for being “too” skinny for a while. But it was a struggle and it was a personal struggle that made me feel a bit bad about myself. Do people care about this?
I have a cousin that had sarcoidosis of the brain and had to take Prednisone. She gained weight. Then she had knee problems and now hip problems because she puts her weight on one knee to compensate for the injured other knee. It’s not easy moving around in that state. So when a person that is overweight goes out (usually because they HAVE to), they don’t need comments from people about their weight. You don’t know their story. You don’t have to be a jerk to them.
I’m an introvert for one VERY important reason. I have a temper from hell. I stay away from people so as not to be tempted to kill them or strangle them for saying or doing something stupid to make me go off. I don’t place myself in positions to be ridiculed or harassed. So, you will catch me at a funeral or a grocery store as soon as it opens because I don’t want to interact with people that might put me in a place I don’t want to go back to.
Basically, what I’m saying is “Mind your own business.” This world is hard enough. We have racists out here calling the cops on kids for mowing lawns and selling water. We have Trump as President. We might be going to war with North Korea at any moment even though we act like we’re cool, etc. Is any of this petty mess going to matter when the world goes to hell? No. So leave people alone for their weight. Everyone has a story and you don’t know it. How about trying to talk to them like a person?
Unless you are a doctor or a personal trainer that knows how to help them and can help them with their mental health to get them to a place of confidence, don’t bother them. Don’t tear them down. That mess isn’t cute and God has a way of humbling you. So watch out.
This blog was all over the place but this just happened today and I just think that some people need to have a heart. I don’t say or do anything with malice unless I am pushed. I also have to say that I haven’t had anyone stand up for me in a very long time so it was nice to have someone actually do that. Thanks to my sister for that. At least I got an apology but I really hope that my aunt thinks about her words in the future.
Thanks for reading. 🙂