I’m sure everyone has heard the mess about Aries Spears who claims he has been in the comedy game for years talking about Lizzo’s weight. I will not repeat what he said because he literally is not relevant. If you came here to see me defend him and his raggedy opinion, WRONG BLOG! I am usually an objective person but enough is enough at this point.
As I have said on many occasions, I have been body shamed my whole life literally. I have made blogs from years ago discussing me being made fun of in the black community for being too skinny and then ending up on the other side of the spectrum due to medications that I need to maintain my sanity and stay out of prison or the psych ward. You can find those blogs here: So I Have Diabetes , Being a Skinny, Black Girl in America , and What Joy Do You Get From Making Fun of Overweight People?
I won’t even post a pic of this dude because my dog is more relevant than him at this point in time.
Why Does This Irk Me So Much?
Besides what I said above, I feel that many men (I’m trying not to generalize), always have something to say about size when they’re in the same category and have a higher mortality rate due to the fact that most of them don’t even want to go to the doctor. There is a reason women live longer than men, because most of us aren’t stubborn. It is also interesting that many men feel that they can look like trash and still pull beautiful women, so they have the right to talk about us like dogs when it comes to looks. I also find it interesting that people that can be in the best shape have died from illnesses they didn’t even know they had. I know two VERY in shape men that died of heart attacks.
I will give the gist of what ole boy said. I will not post his picture; he doesn’t deserve that much either. Basically, this man was asked how he felt about Lizzo’s singing and he immediately went on her looks. Are our looks a part of our talent now? I have recently noticed from TikTok that people actually think like this. Your gender, sexuality, weight, height, color, seems to be more important than talent and I don’t like that.
He then went on to talk about her health and how she needed to cover up (I will talk about the irony of society and that comment later because… there are a lot of hypocrites in this world but I think it’s human nature). He tried to make it into a joke by bringing himself into it because he’s not in the best shape himself. I am not a fan of body shaming and I never have been one because I treat people with respect but, again, I have been there personally. It doesn’t feel good. But, the ire he received via social media was well deserved. You see, she is still young, we have seen her (if you follow her) eating well and working out. We also have seen her cry because she is human. Things get to you and sometimes we have to find a way to work through it and ignore it but, when that hate comes to you from all sides when all you’re doing is living your life, it can be draining.
I feel that she puts on a brave face as many women have done because she can’t let anyone know that they got to her. But it’s damaging. It’s not only damaging to her, a woman that does NOTHING but promote body positivity and inclusivity, but it’s also damaging to the children that we are raising in this world.
Eating Disorders and Unsafe Surgeries
So many people look at social media and see women that aren’t like them, and they want to be like them, NOT KNOWING that many of these women didn’t really work for the bodies they are showing. Surgery is a thing, and many celebrities use this to look better in addition to the photoshopping that we see on social media and in the magazines. This has been going on for a very long time.
I started to think of back in the day before social media and how artists that were at one time slim, gained weight, but were still respected for the talent they possessed. Chaka Khan and Aretha Franklin STILL were respected for their craft although they weren’t the size they were when they came out. The TALENT is what mattered then. Now everyone is just trying to look better than the next woman while claiming it’s all natural when it’s not. And there is NOTHING wrong with getting surgery, it’s your money and you do what you want with it. However, I feel that someone like Lizzo is in the process of working on herself BUT while she is doing it, she is saying that it’s okay to be you.
We have to work to get where we want to be although there are some people that just have those genes (I was one of them so I know). When I hit 248 lbs after being put on another antipsychotic medication, I felt bad. Feeling bad about how you look, having to buy clothes that fit, or just staying in the house to save money because you have no clothes that fit you is a thing. Staying inside so as not to hear comments from rude people about your weight is also something that overweight and obese people deal with. With that sometimes comes depression which decreases your motivation to even do anything.
Some people have problems with their limbs and the like and can’t be mobile enough to do things. Some people have respiratory problems or endocrine issues that can cause weight gain.
Assumptions
Why do people always assume that a person that is overweight somehow did it to themselves or are in horrible health? That’s not always the case. Again, my weight gain came from medication which caused me to have diabetes. I had to be taken off the antipsychotic and given diabetes medication to lose the weight. The second time I went to the psych ward, they put me on another antipsychotic that made me gain weight and really didn’t help me in any other way. I’m off it now and have to take Ozempic for the medication induced diabetes. Funny thing is: Even after being taken off that medication (and before they finally allowed me to get on Ozempic which is also used to help with weight loss in addition to diabetes), I hit 248 lbs again (I am tall but still). I worked out, walked the dog, did everything and it still didn’t come off. Frustration comes with that to the point that you just want to stop trying. Another issue that I had that kept the weight on me was that I was working out but not eating enough.
Before I obtained my degree in Psychology, I wanted to be a nurse, so I took two semesters of Anatomy and Physiology. One of the many things that we learned was that you slow your metabolism down by not eating enough food so your body hangs onto what it gets because it doesn’t know when it’s going to be nourished again. When I was younger, I had a high metabolism because I ate all the time. In addition to that, my dad is tall and slim, so genes also had something to do with it. Even now, I still don’t eat as much as my body burns so I have to make myself eat more food to speed up my metabolism. That is a struggle for me. I am in a program at my job that helps promote good eating habits, talks about some setbacks we might have, and how to get past them.
What am I trying to say? Basically, we don’t know what Lizzo does on a daily basis but I am sure she has professionals that are working with her to achieve her desired goal. It is a process and definitely doesn’t happen overnight. This woman had a beautiful show on Amazon Prime that often made me cry where she was looking for thicker dancers to give them a shot in a field that is usually geared to “in shape” women. These women can outdance most of us and they were thick but they still killed it. They kill it on the stage with her to promote body positivity. Lizzo’s message is to show that we are all beautiful no matter what size we are and that’s what we need to remember.
Lizzo sings, dances, plays the flute, and tries to uplift others while people continue to try to bring her down. I don’t look at her medical records to even know if she has any chronic illnesses because of her weight. I believe she has stamina though because I can’t do all three of those things at the same time and MOST people can’t. So who am I to even speak on her weight? Because I am not privy to that information, I can’t say “Stop eating this or that” but he took it a step further and said that she looked like the shit emoji. Really sir?
Lizzo’s Choice of Fashion
I will admit that I didn’t like those assless pants she wore to a game. I just don’t like to put skin on public things. I hate public bathrooms and all that but that is a PERSONAL problem. Has nothing to do with Lizzo.
People complain about her campaign for her brand, Yitty. She was literally on a bike exercising and wearing her active and shapewear and people complained about that. She was promoting her brand which is what most people do. Where was the outrage when Kim Kardashian was promoting her shapewear? I’ll wait.
Hypocrisy
People want Lizzo to cover up. Did you see the VMA looks (I’m too old to watch the VMA’s)? People made fun of her red-carpet dress and called it call kinds of bed sheets and trash bags. But she was covered. Pick a struggle. That’s the issue, people will ALWAYS find something negative to say about you. You can either let it fuel you to do more or hurt you. It’s a process. No one just wakes up and says, “Nothing anyone says about me will ever get to me.” If that were the case, many celebrities wouldn’t quit social media or engage at all. Everyone is human and they have feelings. I just wonder if the people that were backing Lizzo and getting in Aries’ butt were some of the same people making fun of her clothing for the VMAs.
I know you’re not supposed to like EVERYTHING someone does but, on the heels of the mess that Aries said, I would think people might just give her a big more grace but that’s what I get for expecting people to do so.
In the End
I think that people need to realize that promoting body positivity is very important. We can all not like what we see in the mirror and do things to fix it because WE want to, not because the world body shames us into doing so. I want to lose weight because I know what I am capable of and where I was before I let depression take my joy (and COVID closed my little gym down), not because people call me fat. My health is actually fine except for the medication induced diabetes (I have since been taken off the second med that made me gain weight). Do I call myself “fat”? Yes, I do because I look in the mirror every day and remember what I WAS. Lizzo calls herself “fat” or “big” because she is talking about herself and does the same thing the rest of us do. She already knows that she is big, no one needs to remind her when she sees herself daily. I’m also concerned about her mental health. We can put on a brave face and have people that love us but things will still get to us. Why? Because we’re HUMAN.
So, while we’re sitting here trying to pick her apart, remember, she’s human. Also, remember that she is still winning and has more talent than a good percentage of the world. Again, can you dance, sing, and play the flute? I can’t. We need to live and let live. I’m just trying to figure out how to pay my rent and raise my child. Yes, I can focus on many things at a time BUT my priority is keeping a roof over my head and not shaming a woman that is really doing her best to bring some positivity to the world.
We need to do better and, again, think about our children, ESPECIALLY the young girls out there. Eating disorders and surgeries don’t have to be the go-to. It can always be an option but don’t let society bully you into doing something you don’t even really need.
Thank you for reading and please read some of my other posts about navigating life with bipolar disorder while raising a teen with special needs as well as other societal things that come to mind. I can be all over the place but sometimes things come together.
Rantings of a Mad Woman 
I’m new to your site and had to stop scrolling and read this one in particular cause body shaming has long been my go to pet peeve. (I’m a fairly skinny little white girl so it doesn’t look right and noone ever sees it coming.) I’ll probably write a blog about it someday but, for now, I’d say you handled it like a pro. Chin up btw. I know you’ve got what it takes to whoop this bipolar thing.
Thank you so much for your comment. It’s all a process. I’d be honored to read your blog.
Ok but don’t expect much from my blog. I just sit in there and talk about whatever.