No One Can EVER Say I’m a Bad Friend OR a Liar

I take the words “friend” and “friendship” VERY seriously.  It’s something that I’ve always taken seriously.  I have VERY few friends and I do this for a reason. Every week, I’m not calling someone a friend.  My friends are the types that actually earn that term.  I’ve made a few mistakes.  Probably TWO (IF that) but I take my friendships VERY seriously.  Most of the people I call ‘friend’ have been that for a decade or more in many cases. With that said, when I call you a friend, that means that I will fight for you. That’s what I do and I usually do that with full confidence that the other party would do the same for me.  If I put myself out there for a person, you are truly my friend. 

I look around Facebook a lot (I’m about to cut down my time on there as well) and notice that people get stabbed the back by people that they quickly labeled “friend” almost every day.  People say that my approach is a defense mechanism and I’ll take that.  But there aren’t too many folks out here that I really care about.  You have to earn my caring for you. If you’re just a crappy person, you can keep that. 

As for honesty, I’m extremely honest.  Again, to a fault.  If and when I do or say something, I’m telling you the truth. I can’t sweeten my words or make them sound better because, sometimes, we need that brutally honest person to tell us the truth.  I’m even brutally honest with myself.  I evaluate myself a LOT.  It’s something that I learned to do in my psychology classes.  Before you can analyze someone else, you should be able to analyze yourself and figure out why you are the way you are, why you think the way you do, etc.  This life is full of lessons that we learn DAILY.  Hey, I make mistakes; I’ve made plenty.  But I OWN them.  I’ve never NOT owned my mistakes because NOT owning them means you’re not learning.  And if you don’t learn, you’ll keep making the same mistake again.  Mama doesn’t like making the same mistake numerous times.  This goes back to having TRUE friends. 

I like people that aren’t scared of me.  I like people that give it to me straight.  Sure, I’m a big girl with a hard exterior but I am one of the BEST friends that people will ever have.  I don’t consider someone that doesn’t honestly care about me to be a friend.  And it takes a lot for me to care about certain people because they truly don’t deserve my thoughts or my heart.  Yes, my heart is in my friendships. To me, ALL relationships should start on the foundation of friendship.  Men usually get mad when they feel that they’re in the “friend” zone and I think that those people are stupid and clearly have no true motive when trying to get to know me.  If you don’t want to be my friend, then WHY would I want to date you?  If I’m not even good enough to be your friend, then why would I want to have a long term relationship with you? 

I’m a weird type of animal.  But this is just more of my ranting. 

Disney, One Day I Will See You

One thing that sucks about being broke is that you don’t get to do things that most people feel are things you should experience in life. I have wanted to go to Disney since I was a tiny thing.  I wanted to go so bad.  *sigh*  My best friend went and came home with Mickey Mouse ears.  I hated her for that and wished her stupid Mickey Mouse ears melted and fell off.  Yes, even as a child I was a bitter.  Hey, wouldn’t you be?  My mom refuses to fly anywhere.  I didn’t fly until I was 23 and you can bet that my mother didn’t go on that trip.

Now that I have a daughter, I want her to experience the things that I didn’t experience as a child.  It sure doesn’t help that my daughter watches the Disney Channel and says that she wants to go there.  My goal was to take her by the age of 8.  My daughter is 8.  *lookin* Soooo yeah….I kind of missed the mark on this.  My money is going more to medical copays and the like.  My daughter has an intellectual disability and I’m a single mom at the present time (wait, why did I say that like the single part is going to change sometime soon?  LOL) so my funds are extremely low and I have some loser that calls himself a man that doesn’t help support his daughter.  Unfortunately, I have to be one of those responsible people with priorities.  So I’m not sure when she will get to greet Mickey. The most I did so far for her was take her Sesame Place.  She liked it and it was less than Disney.  Every year, I go on Disney’s site and check to see how much it would be she and I went.  I look and then I come back to reality.  It’s not a joke.  Those prices will make you wonder if you’re paying for a trip or for a car.  I mean, goodness.  Rich people, I envy you.  You can just say “Hey, I think I want to take my kid to Disney.”  You book your flight and the best hotel and take your kids.

The commercials always show people having a great time with their whole family but you don’t see them lookin at their bank account discussing how they’re going to pay for it.  LOL  Life would be so much better if I had money.  I need to go and win the lottery or something.  This being poor isn’t working. Either that or I’m gonna have to get on the pole and shake my money maker.  I have a job, I work hard, I do my best, but I can’t see my kid going to Disney in the coming years. *looks at bank account*  BLAH!

Let’s Talk About Yelp!

I’ve been working in private practice medical offices since about 1997 and I have to say that the invention of Yelp! is the devil.  It just is.  Why, you may ask?  Because, people can go online and LIE about situations and get people to avoid going certain places just off their ONE bad experience.  My current practice has gotten about three bad reviews in the past month.  We, however, are smart and try to figure out who the patient is so that we can recall their experience to verify if they’re telling the truth or not.  We do this for our own peace of mind as we certainly CANNOT go ON Yelp! and correct the horrible review given.

Another issue that I have with Yelp! is the fact that most of the posters on there are punks.  Well, just for the negative reviews.  People tend to use their real name when they’re saying nice things.  But when people are giving negative ones….no….they won’t use their real names.  I wonder why.  Maybe it’s because they’re scared that they might have to ACTUALLY talk to the person that they gave a bad review on.  One girl had a bad experience with our office because she was a frequent No Show-er.  A No Show-er is a person that we confirm appointments with that will call us five minutes before their appointment and cancel.  NOW, in her case, we let her know that she would have to pay a same day cancellation fee which is a portion of our contract with the patient (that they sign).  This woman got mad because our office was consistent and we were hip to her game.  She wanted to talk to everyone she could and we ALL told her that she had to pay the same day cancellation fee as stated in her SIGNED policy.  Do you know she went on Yelp! and got mad at us about that?  Now how could we respond to something like that?  We really couldn’t without breaking patient confidentiality.  It would’ve been hilarious had we called her by her name and scolded her on Yelp, right?  But NOOOO you can’t do that.

I usually don’t have a problem with Yelp! reviews from our patients because they’re usually NOT about me but I had to step in when this lady claimed that she had been calling me for an extended period of time and I never returned her calls.  NOW, I and my employer KNOW that is a lie.  I take my position at my job VERY seriously.  So I was HIGHLY upset when she went on there and outright lied on me.  Of course she only used a part of her name. Cool, I found out who she was.  How?  Because she left a message (first message I had EVER received from her) stating that she had called me numerous times and I had never answered her.  She left this message on a Sunday….we’re not open on Sundays but I digress.  I called her back on Monday and left her a message letting her know that I had never received a call from her and that she could call me back.  I gave her my extension number as well.  She calls back and immediately starts apologizing.  I tell her that she doesn’t have to apologize and that I can help her with her concern.  I even joked with her.  Do you think she removed her scathing review of my practice….well…MY portion of her bad review? NOPE! Why would she?  Like you can’t update your review.  *lookin*

What I learned from working at small businesses is to give POSITIVE reviews of your experiences when you have them.  We have SO many patients that walk out of our office thoroughly pleased with their experiences but THOSE aren’t the ones that write reviews. So people read said reviews and get a half assed opinion of a practice that some people have been coming to for 20 years and love.  My response to people is DO BETTER!  Don’t let those negative people stop you from having a great experience.  Most of the times, the bad experience is due to their negative attitude in the first place.  A lot of those people come in the office throwing cards around, yelling about not following the rules of our practice, just being rude, and then get mad at us when we don’t respond the way the would like us to.  There are always two sides to a story BUT some people should be glad that businesses are NOT allowed to tell their side.  That might stop them from giving such horrible reviews.  So they continue to say what they want KNOWING that they won’t suffer in any way shape, or form for it. Good deal!

In summary, please praise the businesses out here when you have great experiences.  That could really help them.  No one is saying never to write a bad review but at least don’t be a jerk and play the victim. That’s not cool.  I made it a point to write like five reviews on different places that I had had good experiences with just because.  Let’s pass more positivity.  It might just make you feel good.

People Just Don’t Get It

You know what I hate?  When people claim that they’re “bipolar” or have mental issues when they’ve never been diagnosed or even seen a professional to be diagnosed as such.  Being bipolar, having OCD, being schizophrenic is not a COOL thing.  It’s something that people have to fight with on a daily basis.  In about 2000, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder.  I had a suicide attempt that didn’t go as planned but I have to tell you guys about how stupid it was.  Sometimes you’re just too smart you’re stupid?  Yeah, that’s what happened to that suicide attempt.

Okay, so you want to know what happened, I’ll tell you:

I’m in the medical field.  I was already on meds in 2000, I believe.  I found out that one of my best friends was getting married and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to attend her wedding because I was no longer a Jehovah’s Witness (there are SO many layers to me).  I was so upset about that and the fact that the guy that I thought that I was destined to be with married some ugly girl.  So I decided to take ALL of my Prozac pills.  I’m so thorough about things that I called my health insurance’s nurse line to find out how many Prozac pills would actually kill me.  I’m on the phone with the nurse while counting my pills trying to make sure that I had enough pills to off myself completely.  I got off the phone and then my mother came in my room and asked me why I was counting my pills.  I told her (yeah, dumb) that I was about to take them.  She was like “All of them?”  I was like “Yes.”  THEN the flippin nurse calls back from my health insurance to see how I’m doing because well….it sounded like I was about to commit suicide.  This is likely why female suicides aren’t usually successful.  Clearly, I was doing too much.  LOL

THEN I got hip to the fact that I had bad luck so I stopped trying to commit suicide.  I stopped even thinking about suicide because I knew that, as my therapist says, “God has a sense of humor”.  Let my stupid behind try to off myself and I’d survive.  That’s how bad my luck is.  If there’s anything that can go wrong, it will happen. If I jump off a building, you can bet I’ll live and be paralyzed or brain dead for the rest of my life.  Yup, that’s my luck.  I get it, I understand it, I’m at peace with it. There have been many times in which I have walked out of the house wishing that someone, in my HOOD ass neighborhood, would OFF me while I’m walking to my car.  It’s sad but it’s the reality of people that actually have REAL mental illness.  It’s not a game and it’s nothing to joke about.

Just as it’s nothing to joke about, it’s nothing to be ashamed of.  It’s something that many people suffer, grow, and learn from.  It’s not always a bad thing when dealt with correctly.  Some people (like me) opt for the medication. I’ve tried to cope without medication and had like two bad experiences in 2009 that gave me a NEW diagnosis.  Yup, in 2009, they said I was “bipolar”.  Sure, that’s what they say but my psychiatrist that I secured AFTER my incidences in 2009 felt that he should treat the person and not the “illness”.  Oh yeah, the incident in 2009 landed me in the psych ward for a week.  Good times.  I actually met a young mother in there that I took under my wing.  She called me for years after we both got out.  Last I heard, she was doing well.

Funny thing is that I actually AM a very good, honest person.  My major at the present time is ACTUALLY psychology.  It’s kind of weird that it is and who knows if I’ll be able to get a license BUT why not give it a try, you know?  I’ve got my Associate’s right now and will be attending UMUC to get my Bachelor’s in Psychology.  It’s a field that I enjoy and I can actually identify with those that I would be talking to.  Maybe I could be a suicide counselor or something.  Hell, many of my friends call me when they’re thinking about offing themselves because I’ve been there/done that.  I feel that I should be able to use that talent for good as I’m really in no position to judge or make someone feel a certain way for wanting to give up.

Anyhow, this is my first rant.  In summary, calling yourself some kind of mental illness needs to stop.  People that actually suffer from these mental illnesses can tell you a few stories to make you shut that up real quick.  Hell, I truly have more stories.  And they’re not good.

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