Next to the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard debacle, which is still going on today, Lori Harvey and Michael B Jordan’s break up after one year of dating is now the topic of discussion in the entertainment world. I’ll break this all down for everyone because everyone doesn’t know who these people are so I will give a little background.
Lori Harvey
Lori Harvey is Steve Harvey’s stepdaughter with his wife Marjorie. She is a model, an entrepreneur, and a socialite. She has been rumored to have dated celebrities including P Diddy, his son, Future, Trey Songz, and others. She is now 25 years old.
Michael B. Jordan
MBJ is a 35-year-old actor, producer, and director that has been on the screen from a very young age. Many of us remember him from HBO’s “The Wire” but he has grown up to do many great films including playing Killmonger in Black Panther alongside Chadwick Boseman (may he RIP). His resume is long, and we would be here all day if I went down his resume, but he is known as a “good” guy and has even been People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive in 2020. He has been rumored to be dating Victoria’s Secret model Cindy Bruna, actress Kiki Layne, model Ashlyn Castro, and a few others that we know of.
Dating
When it was announced that MBJ and Lori Harvey were dating, of course there were mixed reviews. Most of the mixed reviewed painted Lori in a bad light due to the celebrities she had dated before MBJ. People said she was a hoe pretty much. That was the main thing that I personally saw from the masses. Many sites have the dating history of celebrities, especially when two start dating and they were pretty hard on Lori. There’s not much that I can say about the relationship, but that MBJ seemed to do well with her family, and they seemed happy. Many women were sad about it (as if they had a chance with the man) and many men just kept calling her a hoe and pointing to her past relationships. When they broke up recently and she scrubbed her Instagram of all the photos of the two together, we knew it was over. They stated that they were “heartbroken”, and people started questioning why they couldn’t just make it work.
At this point, I started looking at the responses to this breakup and seeing that all the vitriol was pointed at Lori. I began to ask myself why. Why is it that her breaking up with MBJ seems to be the end of the world? Why is everyone mad at her? Why are we making assumptions that we know the dynamics of their relationship? What variables could have played a part in the end of this relationship? Why does it even have to be one person’s fault when a relationship that usually consists of two people comes to an end?
Body Counts
For those that don’t know what a “body count” is, it is how many people that a person has had sex with. Everyone is harping on hers, assuming she had sex with the guys that we know of and calling her a hoe. I even got called a hoe and told that I was in denial if I thought that women could have a “hoe phase” and have children later in life (more on that later. Please believe that person got cussed out). In essence, everyone is worried about the people that she “might have” slept with but not really caring about the people that MBJ dated and “might have” slept with. Why is this?
Is it because we don’t really know the women he dated? I looked the women up and wasn’t familiar with any of them in all honesty. Is it because he is under the radar with his dating life?
And once I really do some reflecting, I challenge people to tell me what they were doing at Lori’s age? What were you doing in your 20s? Are you projecting your experiences onto her? I personally didn’t lose my virginity until I was 20 because I lived a very sheltered life (see I Was Raised as a Jehovah’s Witness: My Story). When I lost my virginity, I literally had a guy for every day. Now, how would anyone KNOW that unless I told them? They wouldn’t because the men I dated weren’t celebrities. So why are we worrying about what this young, beautiful woman is doing in her 20s when we were either doing the same thing or MORE? There just aren’t any receipts for our actions.
It’s acceptable for men to sow their “wild oats” but women are to save themselves for the “perfect man”. Women have to be married or no one will want them, especially if they know all the men they dated. And this was actually said on Twitter. It seems that mostly MEN have a problem with this breakup. I don’t know if they’re attracted to MBJ (not that there’s anything wrong with that. Happy Pride!) but why is this impacting them so much?
“She Had a GOOD Man”
My response is always that “good” is a subjective term. If he’s so “good”, and we determine the worth of someone (especially women) by if they’re in a relationship or married, why isn’t HE married? Why is it all on Lori as to why they aren’t married? The rumor is that he wanted marriage and she didn’t. If that is the case, what of it? They have a 10-year difference in age.
She can either make space for the next woman to appreciate him or waste his time and hers. But sure enough, if she married him and things didn’t work out, guess who would get blamed. And why is that? Because people are still worried about the men that she dated in the past. Does she have children? Does she have an STD? So why does her past (sexual or not) matter? Nick Cannon out here having a bunch of kids, Future as well but you don’t see people mad about that. They just say “Well, as long as he takes care of them” and then continue to blame the women that have the babies with these men. Women can’t win and I really don’t think a lot of men like women or even like their own mothers.
Who is Lori actually hurting here? Who? Maybe she will regret it when she gets older but that’s HER business.
My Personal Story
When I was in my 20s, I got engaged to a VERY good man. He was good by MY standards, and he still is a VERY good man. He’s married now and happy and I am happy FOR him because, honestly, I wasn’t shit as a woman to him. I was young, just got my cherry popped, had no kids, was selfish, and had never been married. He was eight years older than I, divorced, with two little beautiful girls (that are now BEAUTIFUL, intelligent, women). We didn’t have much in common but I was there for him when his wife left him and took the babies. I was there when he cried and contemplated suicide. I was there because I genuinely cared about him. I was there when they got divorced. I was there when he lost a job and he was there for me as well. We were good together but, when I got the ring, I thought the work was done. Yup, dumb. That was my bad. And I got my Karma in the end.
I didn’t deserve him, and I tell people this all the time. When we broke off the engagement, I was 24 myself and everyone assumed HE was the cause of the demise of our relationship. No, it was me. I wasn’t a good girlfriend. I had even cheated on him once and he took me back, but the trust was gone. In MY case, I was trash. Also, in MY case, I had attachment issues as I have discussed previously. I wouldn’t allow myself to love him and he deserved better so that’s what he found. And not long after that, I was pregnant by another man. A deadbeat. Whose fault was that? MINE! Who lives with that? ME! Whose business is that? MINE! So why are we so worried about these two people that were together for a year and decided it wasn’t the right fit? And why are we assuming things when we weren’t in the relationship?
I don’t want to take it there but let’s refer back to our assumptions about Johnny Depp. Because he was a man, he was supposed to be the assailant, but he wasn’t, Amber was (don’t debate me, I watched that whole trial and blogged about it). We can’t always assume things about people. People can present a certain way for the masses but be different behind closed doors. We also don’t know what conversations were had between the TWO of them prior to making their relationship official. For all we know, she could have told MBJ that she wasn’t interested in something serious. The same way some women try to convince a man that he is ready for marriage could be the same thing that happened here. “Oh, I bet I can make her want to marry me” or “Well, I’ll try as long as it takes” but then we laugh at women in 7-year relationships with no rings. Can women do right?
Why are we going by her past but ignoring his? Do we KNOW her based off who she dated in the past? And, again, she is TWENTY-FIVE YEARS OLD! What were you doing at that age? I had my daughter at 26. I have worked in infertility. I know the stories of a lot of these women. They have things they want to do before they settle down and have kids. Some freeze eggs or embryos and some get a surrogate. And that’s ASSUMING she even wants kids. Believe it or not: There are women in this world that don’t want marriage nor kids. It happens.
Getting Called a Whole HOE on Twitter
Oh yeah, I muted that conversation after I told them that they shouldn’t assume nor generalize regarding women because they were talking about women being fat and not getting a man. I’m like “But I know some that can pull a man and marry them. But what does that have to do with their worth and what do YOU look like since you have all the answers?” So, because they were generalizing and making assumptions, I told them that I would join in, called them all a bunch of incels, and muted the conversation. I’m too smart for that stupidity and I know for a fact none of them would say that mess to my face because … well, I hit people and other stuff.
I just don’t get why we’re talking about a woman being a hoe when men are hoes too if we want to be fair (but life isn’t fair, especially for women).
What Should Lori Had Done in YOUR Eyes?
Because we don’t know the story behind the breakup, not a soul can say what they would have done. It’s fine to have an opinion on things but vilifying a young woman whose shoes you aren’t walking in (and probably couldn’t even afford to walk in) ain’t the business. Calling her a hoe for leaving a relationship that wasn’t the right fit for HER isn’t your business. It’s like we’re telling women that they don’t have a choice in the matters of their own heart. I get it, we have a biological clock and a certain number of eggs but it’s our business. I get that he is attractive, so is she, but that doesn’t make them perfect for one another.
Also, we talk about how people only go after people for their looks but looking good doesn’t mean you’re a “good” person. There are a lot of attractive people in this world that aren’t the best at certain things. That was me with my ex-fiancé. I was pretty (still am) but I was stupid. You live and learn. But the thing is: this is her life, and she has to live and learn like the rest of us. Like I said before, she can either live to regret it or keep on stepping in her freedom. But it’s not our responsibility to shame her for making a decision (with the other party in the relationship) to go her own way. It’s also not our place to worry about who she is (or rumored to be) in a relationship with.
Every single day that we are on this earth from birth to death, we learn, and we grow. If we expect people to treat us with that knowledge, we should do them the same courtesy. I know she probably doesn’t care what people on social media say but we need to stop doing women the way we do them. It seems like we literally cannot do ANYTHING right. Reflect on that. I asked not too long ago what the world would be like if women just didn’t exist anymore and the few that answered pretty much said they wouldn’t care and that they would just die out as if our only reason for being here is to help procreate. That saddened me. We aren’t respected. When we make the right decision for us, we’re stupid. When we make the wrong decision, we’re stupid. We can’t win.
I Know You Want a Conclusion
I’m done with this rant, but it had to be said. I swear y’all hate women. Even some WOMEN seem to hate women and I don’t know what made you like this but it’s sad. It’s just sad. As if we don’t have enough to deal with. Let’s just tear women down even if we’re women. I guess it makes people feel better about their lot in life. Maybe one day they’ll learn. Like I said, people learn and grow every day and sometimes life has to humble them to make sure they learn and grow. I know it did for me.
Please read my other blogs. I have been writing blogs for 8 years (on and off) and a lot of them are still timely. I’m trying to be somebody. LOL And sorry for my tone BUT this is Rantings of a Mad Woman. Sometimes I do get mad. And share but I’m not arguing with a soul in the comments. I don’t argue with people. I’ll have a respectful debate but once people start acting ignorant, gotta exit.
Rantings of a Mad Woman 