Trying to Figure Out My Rage Regarding this Trial

I Am Not a Huge Johnny Depp Fan

I like Johnny Depp’s work. He is very talented and witty, but I am not what you would call a diehard fan. With that said, I never really have heard of Amber Heard until all this mess. So why am I so invested in this case? There could be a lot of reasons so I’m just going to do a bullet point of what it could be.

  • Abuse against males
  • Mental illness
  • Drug abuse and redemption
  • Lying and ruining someone’s career
  • Using the #Metoo movement for revenge
  • Automatically taking the side of the female when proof was in pictures and recordings
  • Walking around undiagnosed when you are the problem
  • Underreported abuse against men
I Have Talked about Witnessing Women Beating on Men

Never liked it. I have spoken on a neighbor that used to beat on her man often. I know this because things would hit my door because she would literally throw things at him while he tried to go down the stairs. This woman also threw water down the steps at her boyfriend, and it hit another neighbor. I have watched her hit him in the head while he walked down the stairs to get away. I have seen her belittle him in public.

I can’t say why he stayed besides the fact that he needed somewhere to stay. And, yes, I called the police on them because of all the noise late at night. I also made sure to let the dispatcher know that she was the aggressor.

It is a known fact that male abuse is one of the most underreported crimes. Why? Because of embarrassment for the most part. Like what man is going to let some little, “weak” woman beat on him. I see it a lot around here. In the street just beating dudes in the head for something they did.

Domestic violence against men is so underreported that there aren’t many studies or statistics on the subject especially in the U.S. The same can be said about sexual abuse among men at the hands of women.

Mental Illness

If you’ve been reading my blogs, you know that I have bipolar disorder. I have previously had the discussion of whether dating a person with a diagnosed mental illness is was a good idea. I talked about how it can make the relationship a bit harder but it doesn’t have to doom a relationship if the person with said mental illness accepts treatment and medication if needed. You can see the post here: Dating a Person with a Diagnosed Mental Illness, Could You Do It? Should You Do It?

But what do you do when the person is undiagnosed and doesn’t choose to get help for the mental illness? Do you let your love make you overlook that? Do you enable the person? Or do you leave? There is nothing wrong with leaving. In Johnny Depp’s situation, he chose to leave. No one likes to argue all the time, have mind games played, be belittled, have things thrown at them, and be chased down when you are trying to diffuse the situation.

When Dr. Curry got up on that stand and literally described everything the jury and other onlookers had already seen via depositions and all those great recordings she took the time to make; it was made very clear that that woman had a mental illness (well two: histrionic and borderline personality disorder). Not long before that testimony, it was noticed that AH had been mocking the clothing that JD had worn the day before every day. Something as small as that had been seen by Dr. Curry. But she diagnosed that woman to a tee. Of course there were some people with no credentials, that didn’t review previous medical records, depositions, administer a 500+ questionnaire, had extensive experience with people that actually suffered from PTSD that had their opinions. People swear up and down that everything is narcissistic personality disorder but this woman spent a BIT more time with AH and was privy to more information than the average person.

That was a pain to watch because most of the people tuned out while she was giving all of her credentials and asking why we needed to know that. We needed to know it so that we didn’t look stupid when she gave her diagnosis. Listen, if you don’t understand law and psychology, just don’t watch the case because nothing will seem necessary to you BUT I DIGRESS!

Sadly, people with BPH felt that this diagnosis added to the stigma of that mental illness. As I have stated many times, our diagnosis doesn’t determine who we are as people. AH is not the face of BPH so don’t assume that people with BPH are abusive. They have a lot of traits and every person’s life is not the same. So, just because AH was an abusive gas lighter doesn’t mean that all people with BPH are the same. Just as all people with mental illnesses don’t run around killing people and acting a whole fool. Many people wouldn’t even know that so many people that have a mental illness have them.

Drug Use and Redemption

Amber’s team kept trying to bring up the fact that Johnny did drugs and drank (they forgot that Amber consumed a lot of wine and also indulged in some drug use. She was also predisposed to drug usage because her parents were users, but she didn’t testify to that during her testimony so far). Doing drugs is sometimes a means to cope. I have talked about self-medication often. It seems to me that AH was self-medicating with all the wine that it was said was ordered often.

A lot of JD’s actions and speech as well as testimony by his doctor showed that he was trying to get clean. One thing that truly stood out to me was the fact that he always took responsibility for what he did. He said that the person that he was hurting the most was himself with the drug use.

I know people that are no longer addicts and you can tell when they have put that life behind them. They say things and take responsibility for them. They try to make peace with those that they hurt and all the other 12 steps they are expected to complete.

Lying Out of Spite to Ruin a Career

If anyone has been watching the trial, it’s a shame that all of the allegations that we had seen against JD had actually been perpetrated by the very person claiming victim. Today, we saw a picture of JD on his honeymoon where he had bruises and the like on his face. It’s interesting though that AH claimed she had been abused and had to cover bruises, but all recordings and pictures showed her harassing him and not allowing him to diffuse the situation by walking away and just trying to get away from her.

One of my triggers is someone following me and continuing to talk when I’m trying to diffuse the situation before it gets out of hand. I totally understand how he felt in those moments because people followed me, and I have actually done them harm because of it. Don’t follow people to continue to argue. Give the person a chance to calm down and think about the situation.

The allegations that AH projected onto JD were all done by her. I can say this based on the fact that I seriously have been watching this case. She did so much more harm than good by claiming that she was the very victim JD was. Because of these allegations, JD lost jobs which meant he lost money and then had to pay her a ton of money in the divorce. She never loved him, and one could tell just by how she recorded everything to use against him which is just sad.


This was a fear I had when this became a hashtag. Yes, there are victims out there and ONE liar can make people doubt every other woman that accuses a man of something. Because she used her platform to sit there and lie, her voice is overpowering those that don’t have the platform she has so she really did a disservice to the movement in more ways than one. However, it did open more dialogue regarding abuse against men. So, in a way, thank her but she still is a whole jerk for what she did.

In the End….

Between Amber Heard and her incompetent lawyers, they are doing a lot to help JD’s case and I’m not mad at that. He kept quiet, he took the L, he hid the fact that his face was battered, and he was scratched up and blamed it on himself (usually what women do, claim they ran into a door, fell, etc.). He gave that woman money she didn’t deserve for a 15-month marriage.

What did he get in return? A ton of heartbreak, turds in his bed, loss of jobs, a bad reputation as a woman beater (when his exes said that was totally untrue), and the burden of clearing his name. But, in the end, even if he can’t win this libel case, he still won. He won because we saw more proof of her beating up on him than what she claimed she had been a victim of. Even the police who didn’t know who she was, said there were no bruises on her.

The best thing you can do is not be in a relationship or learn to keep your hands to yourself.

But I think I see why I am so annoyed by the trial just by writing this. I doubt anyone will read this, but I will post it anyway. I hope that, for her baby at least, she gets some serious therapy. No one is too good for treatment.

Published by tallgirl79

Blogging about life. Well, my life. As a black, bipolar, mom to a teenager with special needs, well, there is always a story to tell. From my aversion to having a man to my weird experiences while trying to avoid people, it's all there. Being me is.... different but it always makes for good blogs.

10 thoughts on “Trying to Figure Out My Rage Regarding this Trial

  1. I haven’t been watching the case but my beloved friend Troy is LOVING it and watches it for hours. I agree with your post that battering ANYONE regardless of sex is not right at all and I felt so upset when you wrote about the times JD was just trying to walk away from AH and she kept going at him. That hurts my heart a lot as someone who tries to walk away deserves the dignity to do so, especially in a heightened situation.

    1. His testimony had people crying. When he told her to just cut him because that was all he had left to give her after she put a restraining order on him but wanted to meet with him (another ploy when she recorded him). He had a knife and was just like “cut me” . It just PISSED me off. He loved that woman. You could tell he did or he wouldn’t have done half the things he did.

      1. I saw a tiny snippet on Facebook about Johnny doing an interview before all the Court trails and I recognised abject FEAR in his eyes, it was heartbreaking 💔 as someone who was in an abusive relationship, I recognised that look in his eyes. I’m team JD all the way. AH may have been injured by JD defending himself but she looks like the one in control that whole time.

  2. Love this piece. I take every opportunity to bring awareness to abused men. Unfortunately, they are not taken seriously and have limited resources.
    I find it amusing that these days the lay public tend to diagnose people as narcissistic without knowing the traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
    I read some where that Howard Stern was critical of JD and accused him of acting and called him a narcissist.
    There need to be resources for men.

    1. There should be but what man wants to go to the police and say that their woman is hitting them? And yeah, people think everyone is a Narc. It’s annoying. When people throw that out there, I just roll my eyes half the time.

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