The Kardashians and Kanye (A Brief Note)
Many POC especially don’t care for the Kardashians as they feel that they only date Black men and are “culture vultures”. Some feel that they reached their level of popularity because of Kim’s sex tape. Some feel they are dysfunctional and that they really do nothing notable. I can’t say what I agree with or disagree with but I have heard a lot of this (and this is just some of the things I have heard) and everyone has a right to their opinion. What I do know is that they have more money than me and, whether it was because Kim laid on her back with Ray J and got coins for it, they’re still doing more than what I did or am doing at my age.
Kanye was a different story. Many people loved (and still love him) because he came from nothing and made himself into a powerful influence in the Hip Hop world. Everyone was playing his music. In 2005 with my daughter in my belly, I would dance to Heard Em Say before work. My daughter would kick. I played it when she was out of my uterus and she still knew the song. I personally loved the early Kanye and still listen to songs like “Gone” and “Drunk and Hot Girls” because I LOVE those songs. He told stories in his songs. He let us know about what it took to get to where he was and how much he loved his mother. When his mother died in 2007, that was traumatic (of course). He continued on with his life though and I always said (as a person with bipolar disorder) that he didn’t cope with her death in a healthy manner. No one listened as no one really seemed to care as long as he kept pumping out that good music.
In 2016, two things happened to the Kardashian-West family that changed a lot of things. The first was Kim getting robbed in Paris. The second was the anniversary (for lack of a better term) of Donda’s death a month later. This is when Kanye had to be put in the hospital for his mental illness. I will only speak on the bipolar disorder as I have it and he has stated that he has it (although many people, including myself (I am NOT a doctor) speculate that he has other comorbid illnesses because these types of things don’t usually come alone).
When a woman you love is almost taken from you 9 years after the death of your mother, that weighs on you. Well, I believe it would weigh on anyone because I look at things from a psychological standpoint. When he had to be put into a hospital, he lashed out at Kim and started going off on social media about the family (all deleted). I wish I could have my phone in the psych ward but I digress. He lashed out at the people that cared about him. It could have been out of embarrassment, mania, denial, etc. but that’s what he did.
Believe me, there is a reason I am talking about this, it will make sense in the end.
The Divorce (?)
Listen, we know that Kim wants the divorce but Kanye isn’t trying to let that happen and this is where my title comes into play. I pay attention to social media and the opinions of groups of people.
In the beginning when Kanye claimed that Kim wasn’t letting him see his kids, a lot of men especially, jumped on that train about women not letting their kids see their children. The truth came out that he was allowed to see his children and that his tantrum was unwarranted.
When he claimed he wasn’t told where a birthday party was going to be, it came out that he had planned to have his own party and wasn’t going to come to the first one. The tantrums began to escalate and got to the point of threatening Pete Davidson in a rap. He began telling people to yell “Kimye” in Pete’s face if they saw him. He cut off friendships with people that were friends with Pete.
Next thing we know, he apologizes for his actions but then turns around and challenges the divorce that was filed. Then he quotes something he saw on a building AGAIN claiming that Kim is keeping him from his kids which is weird because we saw Kanye and North at the Superbowl. Here is an article from People magazine about it: https://people.com/music/kanye-west-challenges-kim-kardashians-request-to-be-legally-single-amid-divorce/
How Entertaining Huh?
Oh the laughs I saw up and down my timeline. So funny. This is alllll so funny. We have men and women of color saying “Well, that’s what she gets for messing with him knowing he was crazy” (Dating a Person with a Diagnosed Mental Illness, Could You Do It? Should You Do It?) or men saying things like “They’re doing something to him.” And the whole time I said “It’s so much deeper than this and you guys won’t get it until it’s too late.” Some people even laughed because Kim isn’t Black so they don’t care. This has actually been said in groups I am in.
I have written many many blogs about bipolar disorder because I have it. So while we’re laughing, we’re forgetting who is impacted by this mess: the kids. He claims he’s doing this for the kids but who is he hurting? He claims he loves Kim but who is he hurting? It was reported that while at the Superbowl with two of his kids, North and Saint, he was BOOed (see: https://www.newsweek.com/kanye-west-booed-thousands-during-super-bowl-while-his-children-1678884 ) . Still funny?
We’re watching harassment play out and it seems that it took a while for people to understand it. We’re watching children in the middle of a mess that will traumatize them if it already hasn’t. Not to mention that bipolar disorder IS, in fact, hereditary.
This isn’t an issue of the Kardashians against a Black man. This is the Kardashians against a mental illness. This mental illness can take you places you never thought you would go. If you have a Reddit account, maybe go to the bipolar section and read some of the things we talk about. We talk about our manic episodes and I have even spoken about how I’d Rather Be Manic BUT I know what that would entail and I’m not trying to go back to the psych ward. It’s not fun for regular people like me. It shouldn’t be fun for anyone.
People then denied the fact that Kanye has bipolar disorder even though he himself said that he had it but his way of “treating” it isn’t acceptable. I have said previously that many people with bipolar disorder and other mental illnesses don’t take the meds because they don’t like how they make them feel. Many get frustrated with the process of finding the meds that work for them. Believe me, I have been there. BUT, at the same time, if you know you have a mental illness and choose NOT to do what you’re supposed to do to stabilize yourself, you can’t then turn around and use that mental illness as a crutch (see: Don’t Use Your Mental Illness as a Crutch).
The laughing is now dying down as more women are talking about how this could have happened to any one of us and we wouldn’t want a soul laughing. I saw a post in a group blaming Kim. It literally said “This is Kim’s fourth divorce and everyone is blaming Kanye”.
We Are Literally Watching a Potential True Crime Scenario Play Out
I listen to true crime. I love true crime. Maybe I shouldn’t because I wouldn’t want it to happen to me but I think I listen to it as cautionary tales. Sadly, this story reminds me of Nicole Brown Simpson’s story and I don’t want to make that comparison but it’s there and I’m not the only person that thinks that. These actions…these aren’t healthy actions. Kanye has been through a lot in life but those things seem to multiply big time when you have a mental illness that is untreated.
People are yelling “Well, where are his friends? Where are the people that care about him?” One thing I can say about the Kardashians is that it seems to me that they really are big on family and they care about the husbands and boyfriends of their clan regardless of whether they are still a part of the family or not. Kim definitely seemed to care when he was having an episode especially in 2016 to the point where he went on social media and got mad that she had a doctor flown out to him. One sad thing that I have also noticed is that they seem to pick broken men or are drawn to them. Many of us have been there. I know I have so I can’t judge them on that.
Sometimes (most times) when a person is in a manic state, it’s hard to talk to and get through to them, especially if they’re not taking their meds or getting the therapy they need. Treatment doesn’t always have to come in the form of medication but, for bipolar disorder, it usually does. A study came out last year regarding the reasons that people don’t take their meds and the main one that I have personally heard is that they don’t like how it makes them feel. I personally know this feeling and that’s why I communicate with my psychiatrist so that I can have my meds changed (see https://www.usnews.com/news/health-news/articles/2021-05-19/6-reasons-bipolar-patients-dont-take-their-meds). Kanye himself has said that it impacts his creativity. At this point, he needs to make a choice: creativity (you’re a whole billionaire, sir) or your family. If he keeps acting the way he is, the courts will make it so that he won’t get to see his children. I haven’t even touched on the messages he has sent to Kim (personal), screenshot, and then deleted. He is on a campaign to have everything that is actually important taken from him.
He has to understand that no one is doing anything to him. He is doing it to himself. But this is where other people speculate that he has other mental illnesses, the main one being narcissism. When you add that on, that’s a whole different world and even harder to break through when it comes to trying to talk sense to a person. I haven’t seen him claim that illness so I won’t say he has it out of respect. I don’t like people diagnosing people especially when they have no credentials nor actual experience with it.
In the End
Many women are now looking past their dislike for the Kardashians and some men are rethinking their opinions of their thoughts on children being kept from their fathers. When you look at the actions of those involved, mainly Kanye’s actions, one can’t deny the glaring fact that this is bigger than Kanye and Kim. Many are now saying that she needs a protection order. I’m sure the last thing she wants to do is be afraid of her partner but, with his history and illness, one can never be sure. She is going to have to worry about what he will do with their children, if he’ll return them, if he’ll hurt them to hurt her, etc. These are morbid thoughts BUT, as a mom, these are things we think about.
Yes, she has security and all of that but we have to remember that she was robbed before and there are some shady characters in this world that will do anything for a dollar no matter who they work for. I hate to be that person but we have to look at the WHOLE picture. This isn’t funny, it isn’t entertainment, it is about the children. I would also suggest that people do a little bit more research on mental illnesses. I have been writing about mental illness for a while as I have lived with it for 22 years now (fun, right). Feel free to read some of my other blogs such as Bipolar and Black, Let’s REALLY Talk About Suicide, and The Story of My Mental Illness.
Yes, I have bipolar disorder but I also have a BS in Psychology (too poor to go further). We need to get more awareness out there especially to people of color and ESPECIALLY to men. Culturally, our men tend to think that taking meds, seeing someone, or talking about your problems make you weak and tend to self medicate which is no better in the end. This is a common thought and we have to stop it.
I’m going to be quiet now. It took me a lot to write this as….bipolar. No motivation but this needed to be said.