Dumb Crap on My Mind

Mad

• If I hadn’t gone to the flippin psych ward, I would still have my streaks on Duolingo and MyFitnessPal. I kind of don’t even want to keep up with my languages anymore because I’m bitter.
• I don’t want to do anything today. I went to take a nap at lunch and got mad for no reason.
• Why is it a crime to commit suicide? Like why do the police have to get involved if someone is trying to kill themselves and not someone else?

Grateful

• At least I have a job, a car, a roof over my head
• My daughter is healthy and she looks cute or whatever
• We got some overtime for the month which is great because…. poor
• I have some of the best friends ever and we don’t have to be in each other’s face all the time to know that there is someone that cares
• I got paid today but …. bills
• I won $1 on my $1 lottery ticket

Thinking

• I’m NOT going back to the psych ward but I don’t know what the alternative is
• The vet called my house for Cutie and Gary in the message and I thought it was the cutest thing. Like they answered the phone and are gonna drive themselves
• I have a lot of stuff that I should be doing but….. still unmotivated

Random

• My treadmill would be my friend if I hadn’t put so much oil on it. I tried to run it to fix it and even tried to clean it but it still feels like I will fall if I run.
• Medical bills suck but at least I have insurance (that one probably should have gone under the Thankful one but I’m lazy)
• Sometimes I go to sites for expensive things and lament not being a stripper or paying a ton of money to get my body done so some rich person would like me
• I’m old but at least I don’t look it
• How come I can’t get drunk and CBD gummies do nothing for me?

In the end…..

I’m still not okay but I can act like I am until I break again.