I Went to a Podcast Show “Alone”

Why I Don’t Do People

I am an introvert.  If you have been following my blog, you know how I feel about “peopling” and all that good stuff.  I am not a fan of people.  I don’t like people.  People are rude.  People are a trigger for me. 

With that said, you saw from my post about How Kpop Changed My Life (Part 3): That Time I Saw SuperM Live and all the fun that I had among those people because we all shared the same love of Kpop.  The same can be said of the show that I went to see.  I was in the midst of writing a post about my favorite podcast and YouTube shows but this happened and I need to talk about it.

I listen to a lot of podcasts but the first one I started listening to by chance when the world died was Obsessed with:  Disappeared.  I don’t know how I started listening to it.  Maybe it came up as recommended on Spotify or I just wanted to listen to true crime instead of watching Snapped all day every day. Either way, I came across this show.

Why Obsessed With: Disappeared?

Patrick Hinds is the host of a wildly popular show called True Crime Obsessed and he also has a network. So he hosts a show called True Crime Obsessed where they watch all kinds of true crime shows and give their commentary on it. They have done The Staircase, Don’t F*ck with Cats, Tiger King, etc (hit their Patreon if you want more right here:  https://www.patreon.com/TrueCrimeObsessed ).  The podcast is really funny.  The cohost for that show is Gillian Pensavalle and she is a mess too.  I think I probably heard them talking about the new show on this now that I think about it. 

Anywho, when the world died (yes, I said ‘anywho’), Broadway shut down as well.  In steps Ellyn Marsh, probably one of the funniest women that I have come to “know” and love.  When I talk about her, I call her my friend. Obsessed With: Disappeared was the FIRST Patreon I ever subscribed to. Anyone in their Facebook group that KNOWS me knows that I was like “I ain’t payin for anybody’s Patreon.” Yeah, that was a lie.  The show is great.  It’s worth the money. They do trivia on the first Friday of every month.  It is everything.  They also do a Friday Night Live on Instagram where some of the funniest things have happened including Patrick (we call him Patricia) falling out of a chair after making lewd comments about one of Ellyn’s gorgeous brothers (thankfully, I am on the bed so I can’t fall off) and then the time when Patricia got SO mad that we were being “mean” to him that he would come on the live, leave, come back, say nothing, then leave again. 

Everything is all in good fun and we’re all just a crazy, dysfunctional family.  Ellyn and Patrick have been friends for over 20 years I believe and their stories are some of the best.  This is what it’s like to have a real friend for that long.  They have included us in harassing one another and everything.  But, I’m getting a bit ahead of myself. Oh, their Patreon link is:  https://www.patreon.com/obsessedwithdisappeared  and it is worth the money.  I can say this because, as my mom says, I am a “miser”.  I don’t give my hard earned money to anyone, literally especially when it’s for me.

Sadly, I am all caught up so I’m going to wait until they get more content and then reinstate my membership.  I binge and I need to have a bunch.  I put that in my note when I canceled (I LOVE you guys but um….. I’m not the richest person in the world.  I could get Starbucks with that $5 LOL). 

Trying to Explain Podcasts to People

Explaining what a podcast is shouldn’t be hard but people don’t really understand the concept.  Basically, you can listen to podcasts anywhere on just about any subject you would like.  My subject of choice since well before the pandemic has always been true crime.  It’s why I was watching Snapped all day on the weekends. I love true crime and wanted to be a Forensic Psychologist but….. poor.

For some reason, people don’t understand and explaining it to them is like speaking a different language.  So, when I said I was going to a podcast show, people were all the way confused.

Basically, this show talks about a show on ID called Disappeared.  They give their commentary and basically make us laugh while respecting the person that the show is about. They mainly talk about the bumbling law enforcement or sometimes the overzealous people that go out of their way to find their loved ones.  Although I’m not sure “overzealous” is the word when it comes to looking for your loved ones.  Either way, they have some great quotes and these two go IN on each other in every show.  EVEN THE COMMERCIALS ARE HILARIOUS!  So the Patreon episodes have no commercials but I listen to them with commercials because they are funny.

If Patrick is not harassing Ellyn for failed marriages or how fine her brother is (he fell out of a chair and they have a pic of his sock when he fell out of the chair), Ellyn is singing songs and telling some of the funniest stories you will ever hear.  It’s like ear hustling people you would never meet otherwise.  I mean, a whole Broadway star (Kinky Boots, Pretty Woman, Priscilla, Queen of the Desert: The Musical, etc) and Patricia who has written books, failed at daycare (inside joke), and is just doing a lot to help other people follow their dreams when it comes to doing what they love.  This dude is cool people and I say this even though I USUALLY take Ellyn’s side in arguments because I’m a DB (Down Bitch) but he has my heart as well. 

The Tour

So, we have a tour that they started.  I believe they started the tour in Nashville, TN.  I can’t say I care because I don’t live there.  Anyhow, when they said they were coming to DC, I could NOT let them come here and not be able to see them. I had told them when they started that, if they EVER came here, I would break out of my introvert shell and go ALONE as no one understands true crime in my immediate circle of friends. 

I mean, they’ll listen to me talk about it but they’re not trying to listen. So who do I share my inside jokes with?  Who do I laugh at the sock pic or the guy that tried to bargain with the “toll taykah” or even Prince and Elton John jokes?  NO ONE but my DBs in the Obsessed With: Disappeared group.  These people are SO nuts that they are FRIENDS with the voice over guy, Christopher, from Disappeared.  These people are so COOL that they are friends with Adnan Syed’s family  friend and lawyer, Rabia (she needs no last name in our circle).

So when I talk about Ellyn and Patrick, I say “my friends” because they are my friends (at least in my head). People look at me like I’m stupid but, at that show, I learned that I was no longer alone and that I have a “people” that I can tolerate.


Most of you know that people are a trigger of mine and I have discussed this at length in many of my other posts so I will not bother you with that.  I learned, however, that “peopling” with those that have the same interests as you is not hard at all. 

I went to the show alone.  Just as I did with SuperM.  I didn’t want to have to explain the inside jokes to anyone or force someone to go. So I didn’t.  I, again, took myself.  I purchased VIP tickets ($75.00), told Ellyn, and started on my mental downward spiral of all the things I had to prepare for:

  • Can I back out of this? Crap, I already told Ellyn I was going.
  • What am I going to wear?
  • I hate driving in DC.  What’s the parking like?
  • Man, where is this place in the first place?
  • Why in the world did I say I was going to this?

But… after telling people to come on their own and all that great stuff, I did it.  I did it.  My neighbors are special needs teachers and had told me that, if I needed them, to use them.  So I basically just asked them to listen out for my daughter.  I knew for a fact that she would be dancing.  I ordered her a pizza, got dolled up (I have a lot of makeup that I don’t use because I don’t go anywhere), and I left. 

Getting There

I hate driving in DC so I got a Lyft.  My first Lyft driver wasn’t very talkative until a OneRepublic song came on and he started singing.  In my head, I was like “Sang it, Lyft driver!” Then someone called his phone while he was singing and he was mad.  I was like “Yup, I know the feeling.”

So, I got to the Miracle Theater which is really nice. The first thing I thought to myself is the fact that I live near so much culture and beauty and don’t experience it much. I made a promise to myself to come back as I saw two restaurants that I want to try out.

I’m Here, Now What?

I’m standing outside and I know no one. I decide to take a picture of the sign for the show and someone asks me if I want to take a picture in front of the sign and I’m all like “No.” I am one of those people that doesn’t like to ask people for anything or take anything when offered. I’m weird, I know.

I observed the people outside and noticed that a lot of them were there solo. When they called for the VIP group, I got in line and then we started talking about how we came by ourselves, why we came by ourselves, where we came from, etc.

Our stories were all the same. We could have brought someone but no one really understands it like those that actually listen religiously. In the end, just like a the SuperM concert, I wasn’t alone. I was with MY people. I got a front row seat because there was no assigned seating which was really cool. So we all sat one seat away from one another and started talking.

This little feisty woman comes and asks if she could sit in the seat next to me and I’m like “No” and she sat down anyway. Well, she is now my bestie. I mean, the GALL! We were cracking up. We all pretty much became like a family in that short time before the VIP portion started where we got to ask questions of Patrick and Ellyn.

Among My People

I might have been one of a hand full of Black people there but it didn’t even matter. We all talked, bonded, talked about our jobs which was crazy. I was sitting beside a Chief Magistrate and, on the other side of me (the little nutty lady that sat down beside me without my permission) was someone in the medical field that worked with clinical trials. I am also in the medical field as a coder so then we started talking about things like mental health and I told her about my blog and said that I would definitely be writing about this touching experience.

I was literally telling them about what was going on with me and going to the psych ward. No judgment or anything was felt at that moment. The Magistrate was there with her daughter who was 14 and we were laughing because they put two X’s on her hand to indicate that she wasn’t supposed to have liquor. She took everything in stride and Ellyn told her to stay in school. LOL

What was really cool to me (of course) was that they acknowledged me by name. Have you ever felt that important to have your name said in the VIP portion as well as during the show? I mean, that probably made my whole year. Again, just as it was at the SuperM concert, I was a part of a family. We were from different places, backgrounds, races, and it didn’t even matter because, at that moment and beyond, we were all family.


In the End….

Just as my little nutty seat stealing friend said, it’s going to take us years to go back out and “people” again. It’s interesting that a lot of us are introverts. Introverts aren’t just people that stay to themselves but we are people that can exhibit extrovert qualities in certain situations BUT it takes a lot out of us. That experience was great BUT it will be a while before I do something like that again. It took me 2 years to get out after the concert that I went to.

I will say that I will never forget the experience nor the people that I met. I am also grateful to Patrick and Ellyn for bringing so many people from all walks of life together and even getting many of us out of our comfort zone.

Thanks again, Patrick and Ellyn. There were a lot of friendships that were formed on that day and I hope that there are many more to come in the following shows on the tour.

When I left, I called my daughter. She has autism as well as a moderate intellectual disability and isn’t really knowledgeable of tone or feelings of others but she said to me “You sound like you are smiling.” My reply was “I am. I am happy.”

Published by tallgirl79

Blogging about life. Well, my life. As a black, bipolar, mom to a teenager with special needs, well, there is always a story to tell. From my aversion to having a man to my weird experiences while trying to avoid people, it's all there. Being me is.... different but it always makes for good blogs.

11 thoughts on “I Went to a Podcast Show “Alone”

  1. Why did this make me cry? It’s so important to find your people. It’s so important not to feel alone. That’s what TCO and OWD do for me. Great post!

  2. Thank you for blogging about this! I am on my own mental health journey and OWD and TCO helped keep me smiling! I was grateful that I could go at all!

    1. It’s a planning process. But I will always make it a big time priority when it comes to the things that I actually love and have impacted my life in a positive way. That’s why I also had to go to that SuperM concert. I had to. They gave me so much.

  3. Hello there, I found your web site via Google whilst searching for a related subject, your website got here up, it appears good. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.

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