Liars and Cheaters in the Dating World and Why (Sometimes) Telling the Truth Doesn’t Work

You may think I’m crazy for this but I truly think that this is the case. Well, I think it’s the case if you’re an attractive person (male or female). In the summer, especially, I have to tell men that I am not interested in dating. In addition to that, however, I tell them things that one would think would scare them away such as the fact that I have bipolar disorder. If you read my blog, you know that I am bipolar. I was diagnosed in 2008 and before that my diagnosis was just Major Depressive Disorder, recurrent. I was diagnosed with that back in 2000 when I took my mental health into my own hands.

With that being said, people never believe me. Maybe it’s because I am stable now and make sure never to miss my meds. Maybe it’s because they think that dating a “crazy” woman is cool (until they end up as a corpse on Snapped!). Maybe they think they can take me in a fight. Or maybe they just think that I’m lying. Some have said that it’s because they feel that my looks override it. I think that’s stupid but looks make a LOT of people stupid (male AND female) when it comes to what they will put up with and what they won’t.

Whatever the case may be, what should be a deterrent is no longer one. This goes for everyone.

“You’re Married? Well, So Am I”

When I was little, we were at the drive in at the local liquor store and a man tried to talk to my mom. She told him “I’m married”. The guy said “Well, so am I.” You can’t even turn a person away by being committed anymore. And it’s a shame that I remember that to this day. When people ask why I don’t want to get married, it’s because of memories like this, observations of married people that don’t act as if they are, and the blatant disrespect (and even changing) of the marriage vows.

Why even get married if you want to keep dating? I thought that one of the main purposes of marriage was to be with your mate until death (or adultery). Yet now, people are so disposable that it’s all about finding someone better and bouncing up out of the relationship you had for the next best thing.

If you can’t respect your marriage, no one else will and clearly you’re not really a good person to pursue a relationship with. BUT there is always a lid for every pot, as some people say. So there are people out there that are fine with dating a married person.

“I’m Separated”

Many married people are “separated” and they always have a great reason as to why they haven’t filed the papers yet. I have seen people get divorced in weeks. I have seen people go through with uncontested divorces. People claim that the cost is too high. People make up all kinds of excuses as to why they haven’t severed that tie yet when, in some cases (not all), they are still with their spouse. Some still live there. Some use the children as an excuse. There are so many people out here that just always want to have something or someone to fall back on and, sometimes, it’s their spouse. Just don’t bring other people into your mess until that decree is finalized.

I’ve literally seen people getting ready to separate talking about a new man or woman before their spouse has even finished packing their stuff to leave. Yet people wonder why I don’t want to get married. It’s nuts out there.

“At Least I Have a Man”

I can’t take relationships seriously because society doesn’t. The people IN these “relationships” don’t even respect them. Some of these folks are just in relationships to have a place to live or even a car to drive.

Although I started this post in 2018 (it was in my drafts so I went ahead and decided to finish it 2 years later), the same applies. There are men like Jodie from Baby Boy. I mean, there are women too but women sometimes seem to think that they need to have a piece of a man because it makes them seem “better” than single women. “At least I have a man” is a go to when it comes to “insults”. Men try to use it too against single women. Makes me laugh but, as usual, I digress.

I have never blogged about my neighbors but my Facebook friends know a lot about them. Why? Because they literally argued and slammed doors constantly. Unfortunately, the girl got pregnant. Thankfully they moved. The girl would throw things at the guy, beat him in the head down the stairs, all that. She would berate him in public. He literally seemed more like her little brother than her man.

One day, she threw water on him as he left (trying to diffuse the situation) and hit another neighbor. She threw stuff at him one day and it was sitting outside of my door. You can bet your BUTT I took that trash to their apartment, asked if it was theirs, and gave it back to them.

You wanna fight? Fight. But keep the rest of us out of it. She was literally abusing the guy. People always heard him saying “Get off me.” She literally was the worst. I don’t know if he had a job but it was horrible. When they moved out, the maintenance people told me that there were doors off the hinges (they slammed the doors all the time) and holes in the walls.

They also had a dog that they never walked. She was a big dog. She cried a lot. I don’t know how they are going to raise that child because they couldn’t even take care of a dog. That poor dog. And now that poor baby.

In the End….

Two years later (after starting this post), I kind of feel the same. I don’t all the way feel the same but these are things that I think of when thinking about getting into relationships.

Longevity doesn’t equal happiness. My parents have been married for a long time and I don’t want to be like them. I’m sorry, I don’t. I think that’s why it takes me a long time to even consider interacting in person with men after talking for a while. Many are full of sh*t and I don’t need a repeat of the guy that led me on for YEARS and then claimed that we weren’t dating. I learned a hard lesson. I think I wrote another blog about that somewhere.

But yeah, thanks for reading this post even though it was started 2 years ago. Please take some time to read my other posts. I need some traffic. LOL

Published by tallgirl79

Blogging about life. Well, my life. As a black, bipolar, mom to a teenager with special needs, well, there is always a story to tell. From my aversion to having a man to my weird experiences while trying to avoid people, it's all there. Being me is.... different but it always makes for good blogs.

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