Online Dating – Let’s Be Honest….

GAWD!!!!! About six months ago, I went on OK Cupid to be nosy. My boss was on there and told me that it was pretty nice and she met a lot of nice guys. I went more to observe. I like to observe people. I do that a lot on Facebook too so this wasn’t any different. Anyhow, I’ve learned a lot about people from going on Ok Cupid.

FIRST THINGS FIRST— PROFILE PIC

When I first got on there, I made it a point to post some regular pictures.  I’m known on Facebook for posting unattractive pictures so I decided to do a spectrum of pics.  The thing about me is that I feel that no one is ALWAYS beautiful and I wanted to show that on my page SO I posted a few silly pics. I had one chillin with some food that a friend had made me.  I had another one of me with rollers in my head looking a hot mess but the nice pics outweighed the unattractive ones. I got a good number of prospects looking at my page but then I decided that I needed to put a voice to the pics. 

SURE, LET’S MAKE A PROFILE…..THAT NO ONE READS

Okay, so you sit here and you tell the world about yourself.  You do all this and guess what?  NO ONE reads it.  I had so many people asking me my name and what I did for a living that I finally had to make a disclaimer at the beginning of my FLIPPIN summary about myself because NO ONE read it.  I mean, it was horrible.  So here’s my disclaimer:

*PLEASE READ MY PROFILE. IF YOU DON’T AND ASK ME A QUESTION THAT WAS ADDRESSED IN IT, YOU WON’T HEAR THE END OF IT* 🙂

Do you know that EVEN with this they STILL asked me my name, where I worked, what I did for a living, etc.  So I finally got to the point that if someone asked me, they got ignored OR blocked. Depending on whether I was in a “mood” or not, I would point them in the direction of my lengthy “About Me” section.  To me, if you’re interested in someone, you would want to read about them.  OR if you see something you like, wouldn’t you want to read about them and see what they’re about to see if the personality matches the pics?  But hey, maybe I’m a weirdo and this whole online stuff isn’t for me.

I mean, after the whole disclaimer or whatever you want to call it, I answered a good THREE questions for them:

 

“My name is Kendra. I’m a single mom. I’m a Medical Biller and Psychology student. I don’t play games and I don’t like games to be played with me. I have a great sense of humor but I do like to be respected at all times. I’m a 6 footer as well. I have no problem with short men. Love is love is love is love. 🙂 “

 I don’t know. Maybe I missed the memo.  Even IF you SKIM the flippin information, you would know this much.  But, alas, I still get asked my name and what I do for a living.  So I had my lil pic up and I was chillin.  But then I decided to do a social experiment.  I put up a pic of me in a white sports bra (most women know that this equals a LOT of cleavage especially when you have boobs my size).  So I put the pic up and what happened? The number of visits to my profile escalated.  With THAT came even MORE stupid comments and questions. 

HI, HERE’S MY NUMBER

So, let me get this straight.  If you see someone you like, you just automatically give them your number?  You don’t find out a little bit about them?  Like if they’re a psych killer or something?  You just GIVE them your number and say you wanna meet up.  I don’t know if you folks watch Snapped or Stalked or Deadly Obsession (thanks TruTV and Oxygen) but…um…people are flippin NUTS out here.  You don’t give ANY info to these folks because they can pull a Catfish and reverse phone number look you up. Then what?  They might show up to your how with Neve trying to figure out if it’s you or something.  Okay….maybe I watch too much TV but I’m just saying.  I’m not giving you my number and I don’t have the google phone or whatever that mess is to be playing games with people.  If I give you my number, it’s my number and I want to talk to you.  I don’t just give some random dude that liked my pic (like the other 100+ people that liked it) my number.  I’m really a Plain Jane and I really don’t do games. Funny thing is that I actually tell so much about myself in the summary about myself that you either love me or hate me.  But it seems that most people love me based on the pics that I put up. 

But this is also a testament to the fact that people don’t READ my About Me section because here’s anOTHER excerpt from my summary:

 

I am a homebody. I don’t like to instantly just go out with people because I truly don’t know them and this world is a scary place. I like to talk to you on here first before even giving you that option. Don’t you want a careful woman? You don’t want some woman just giving all her info and going out on dates with people all willy nilly, correct? If you do, you should probably skip my profile. LOL. I’m not desperate and I don’t like desperate men.

 

BUT that’s them not reading again because the first thing they do after saying “Hello”  (IF they even say “hello” because some just cut to the chase but we’ll get to that later) is give me their number.  You give me your number just like that huh?  Sure, I’m glad you would like to get to know me but could we at least talk on Ok Cupid FIRST to see if it’s worth even exchanging phone numbers?  Okay, maybe I’m just uptight or maybe I shouldn’t even BE on Ok Cupid.  I’m about to go on Plenty of Fish and see how that works out too.  I just like to go on there to have stories to tell.  If you haven’t been on any of those sites, I suggest you go there for sh*ts and giggles. You’ll have plenty of stories to tell.  Hey, let me tell you some of them now. 

FOOT FETISH GUY

I kid you not, there was a dude with the word “Foot” in his name that was stuck on feet. He wanted to know what size me feet were and if I could pick things up with my feet.  I promptly blocked him. Hey, I’m no fool AND I have ugly feet.  What I look like messing with someone that loves feet with feet like mine.  Hey, I’m not in denial of the truth. I might be pretty but yeah….my feet aren’t the best.  Like it or lump it.  LOL

COOCHIE GUY

I ran into that one today.  Today, I was just chillin on Ok Cupid minding my own business.  Well, I lied, I was on Ok Cupid correcting people for NOT reading my profile when this dude comes out of nowhere.  He says “So sexy”.  I say “Thank you”.  The fool then proceeds to say “I eat good coochie”. Now, I’m one of those people that doesn’t sugarcoat anything and I really wasn’t for all that mess today so I said “Yeah…thanks for letting me know that although I didn’t ask you.”  Then the fool says “So sexy” again.  So MY response this time was “So I see why you need the help of this site.  Do better.”  I got no response back.  I should’ve blocked him but I would love to see if he has the GALL to respond to me.  I bet this fool doesn’t know why he is single.  I mean, with lines like that…..well…..the women should be JUMPING in his thirsty boat.  *blank stare*

The final one that I received today just had me dumbfounded:

NICE ASS ….GUY

Okay, so while I’m telling this other idiot about himself for not reading my profile (well, I guess black women do have attitude problems but you would too if you kept hearing (reading) the same BS from these dudes as if it’s supposed to make you like them but I digress) I get another message from a guy that doesn’t greet me.  His message was “Nice ass”.  *blank stare*  Soo….you can’t even say hello. If you were walking down the street and you saw someone with a nice behind, would you just say “Nice ass” without a hello?  He got no response.  It wasn’t even worth it.  This is the stuff that you get on Ok Cupid (if you look like something).  If you’re unattractive….well….maybe I should do a social experiment on that one. 

I can say that I’ve commented on people’s profiles via message and gotten no response.  So, instead of checking my breath in real life, I look at myself like “Am I ugly?”  LOL  But I know I’m not….well…I could look worse anyway.  The funny thing is that, if there was no option for pictures on the site, how many people would even get approached?  Would I get approached based off my snarky profile?  Probably not. They’d think I was a b*tch and move on to the next woman that was a little more subtle.

GOOD MATCHES

Good matches exist.  There are some good dudes on these sites but, honestly, you have to READ.  Any person that takes the time to actually answer the questions on the site and actually TELL about themselves is in it for real.  They’re not on here playing. There are a lot of questions that they have for you to answer.  To me, the more in depth the profile is, the more serious the person is when it comes to being in a relationship….well, unless they just love talking about themselves.  My summary is very in depth.  I didn’t leave too many holes.  All of the regular questions such as “Why are you single?” and “Do you have any kids?”  are answered.  I can tell you why I’m single and I point out the fact that I have flaws which many people tend NOT to do on the site because, like most single people, they’re trying to sell themselves. 

I can say that I have met a few men on there.  I actually went out on a couple of dates with one and thought that we might have a future but, just like dating in the real world, people aren’t always what they seem.  I think we were a match at first but our styles of communication and our goals were just a little different.  I wouldn’t tell anyone NOT to go on the online dating sites because I think that you should be able to meet someone wherever.  I would just say that, in both environments, you really need to get to know a person by what they show you and what they tell you. They don’t have to be in your presence to show you who they are or what they’re about.  A truly observant person that’s not in denial will see the truth for what it is. 

Well, thanks for reading and I’m sure I’ll have more stories for you guys very soon.  Well….until I find my husband. LOL Nevermind, I’ll have stories for a long time. 

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